I am sure many of you have heard of the song by Ariana Grande “Thank You Next.” I love that song! It has so much to let us know, that I think it is underrated. The song should be shared many times as a reminder that everything happens for a reason and that we learn from every relationship. Perhaps, when the relationship is over, it is time to say thank you and take your lessons learned.
Many of you may say “but how am I going to say thank you when this person has not appreciated me or even abused me?” Well, the answer is yes, we learn even when we go through tragedy. We must see that opportunity to embrace our strength.
Singleness a Good Season
In episode #45 we talked with Regina Smithwick about “singleness a good season.” Regina Smithwick is the founder of ReGina Smithwick Enterprises LLC, providing Certified Life Coaching. She is a Professional Organizer, and the creator and producer of Let’s Talk a Talk show & podcast. Regina is a motivational speaker and the author of “Adoption: The Unknown Blessing”. She has published many self-help journals, available for purchase on Amazon.
In the interview, Regina explained how we can use the time of singleness to get to know ourselves, to connect with our inner self and God, while it is a time to dedicate time to us. She shares with us what happened when she got divorced and how she embraced who she was and was able to do things she was not able to do before. She said, “it is the best season you will have in your life.” Even the bible talked about this season of our life where it is the time to connect with God without interruption. Also, one of the major benefits of being single is having the space in your life to spend quality time with friends.
Her transformation occurs after divorce. It took her 1 year to be happier than ever before. She invests in herself, puts value in herself, and stops being a people pleaser. When you don’t love yourself the way you are supposed to, you don’t value yourself the way you should be. In the time of singleness, we can buy things for ourselves, and celebrate ourselves, while we wait for that special person that eventually will show us off. Believe it or not, relationships are ‘mentally’ expensive; we spend so much time sometimes thinking about that other person and what went wrong that it becomes overwhelming.
A couple of months ago I was listening to an interview with Dr. Joe Dispenza and someone asked him, how she could find the love of her life or her next partner. He said, make a list of the qualities that the person has, draw a picture of words and qualities of the person you want in your life. Once that list is done, become that person. Once you become that person, that significant other will show. Because a person like that will only look for people like that. So, the time of singleness is for you to become that person that you want in your life. It will not be fair to want and desire someone who is good at managing money but you are not, or someone who likes to be organized but you are a mess in your home and car. Those relationships will not last even if they like each other physically; the relationship will be a disaster, and you do not want, once again, another difficult relationship.
In summary, being single is a good season. It is the time for you to become free from the constraints of having a partner, your life will become totally and completely your own. Take yourself for a walk, buy yourself a ring, take yourself out for dinner, and love yourself more than anyone in this world, because after all you will be hanging out with you, for the rest of your life.
To listen to this great interview with Regina Smithwick clink on the link