Divorce, a remedy to a problem or an escape to avoid the work?
After many marriages and divorces, I have to say I can talk about this subject.
I have been married 4 times and divorced 3. I am not making any competition to Hollywood ladies, but I am very close to some of them.
In one of my podcasts, we talked about the subject of divorce. Episode #37 “Facing Divorce and Relationship Issues” (Apple Podcast / Spotify) with Sonia Frontera, should you keep your partner, or is divorce the answer? In this episode, Sonia Frontera gives advice to couples on how to stay strong in a relationship and what to do when your relationship becomes unhealthy and abusive. The show was about one of those subjects that we need to talk about, but don’t.
Quitting is not always a negative word
Some people think a divorce is a failure, but quitting is not always a negative word, because it can be quitting a bad job, a bad relationship or quitting a bad habit. Quitting in any of those situations is a win.
So why do we think that divorce is always a bad thing? Yes, we do get married with the idea that it will work forever and you will grow old with your partner, but this is not something easy to do, because we all change and evolve. Sometimes those changes take us to a different road than our partner. One in the relationship is walking sometimes backward or on the highway flying, while the other one still driving on the little side roads. Changes are individual and personal and not necessarily we match our partners speed or way of growing.
I want to share with you, that now that I look back, I am very happy for the decisions I had made in the past. I would probably only change the way those decisions transcended. Today I think my exe’s and I, are with the correct partner and happy.
You may have heard on my show how my first marriage was very difficult and for my own sanity and the safety of my children I needed to get divorce. These are the types of situations that are extremely important that we can recognize to protect our lives. We should never negotiate life for love, because there is no love without life, and no life without love.
Sonia Frontera is a divorced attorney and an author. She has several books that talk about the issues with divorce for example, “Do you keep your husband or Do you post it on Craigslist?” and “Relationship Solutions”. In all her books she helps you solve the divorce dilemma. She also has the workbook which is an insightful personal-discovery tool that offers you an easy and effective step-by-step method to help you get clear in what you want of your relationship.
Below you will find the link to her books and the podcast episode.
Divorce is not the end of the world
With all this, I want to say that divorce is not the end of the world and is not a terrible thing to do. Yes, it is complicated and sometimes sad, but it is a solution to a problem that has no solution and an opportunity to be happy again. Perhaps, being happy must start with you. Find what makes you happy, be safe and enjoy life. After my divorces, I can say I am happy and married to my best friend. I can say I am happy and married to my best friend.